Why are your employees leaving you?

Why can’t you attract the right talent?

Why has your customer satisfaction score dropped yet again?

Why has your employee engagement score taken a dive?

There is a very easy way to find out.

Just ask!

Your employees have the answers to all those questions if only you would seek them out.

No surprises

If your organisation carries out an annual or bi-annual employee engagement survey, there should be nothing in it that comes as a surprise regarding your team.

When you conduct a formal performance review, there should be nothing arising for you or your employee that is unexpected.

Why?

Because you are always asking questions. You have your finger on the pulse of the team.

Simple? So why don’t more “leaders” do it? Or, if they do, how do they get it so wrong?

What’s holding you back? 

Firstly, let’s look at what might be holding you back.

You must have all the answers?

So many leaders believe that once they are in a leadership position, they must be seen to have all the answers. No one ever said that when you become a leader you also become the fount of all knowledge to your team.

Your job is not to have all the answers but to solicit others to find the answers. This is why you have a team! You are human too. 

This is where you must be prepared to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is not something you should be afraid of. Being open, honest, and vulnerable does not put you at risk. Vulnerability is not a weakness.

As Brené Brown said, “Vulnerability is not weakness; it is our greatest measure of courage.”

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

When you are prepared to be vulnerable you are prepared to say:

“I don’t know the answer to that.”

“I don't have a solution, what do you think?”

“I made a mistake, and I am sorry for that.”

“We have a problem. What solutions do you propose?”

When you are vulnerable you build a connection with your team members which in turn builds trust and respect.

Rather than feeling that leadership is talking “to” them, employees feel that leadership is talking “with” them and listening as a result.

You might need to take action?

If you are afraid to ask questions because it may result in you having to do something then you are in the wrong job.

Taking action IS your job. You must ask questions, listen attentively, and determine the actions you must take to jointly resolve a problem, seize an opportunity, or remove an obstacle.

Good leaders know that it is their actions that earn them respect. Leaders must take action that is in accordance with their words. This is acting with integrity. You practice what you preach.

You might not like what you hear?

You must proactively seek feedback on a regular basis regarding your performance as a leader. The key thing is to remember that feedback is generally not personal. It is not about you as a person, but about you as a leader, and how well you are performing in that role.

When a person is brave enough to give you feedback when they know it is not positive, it is your duty as the leader to take it on board and own it. Whilst you may feel upset, angry, or disappointed by what you hear, you must see this as an opportunity for improvement, growth, and development.

Just as positive feedback is an opportunity to do more of the same, negative feedback is an opportunity to do things differently.

Getting it right

So many leaders get it so wrong when they do ask questions. If you are asking questions but not getting the answers you need, you may need to do the following.

Ask the right question

It is important to ask the right question to get the outcomes you want. Ask questions that get to the point. Make them concise and descriptive. When you ask a good question, the chances are the recipient will understand what you mean. You want to avoid confusion.

You want your questions to return valuable insights which could either be a problem or an opportunity. Questions should encourage conversation. You are not looking for yes/no answers. Those answers provide you with no useful information.

Ask open-ended questions which do not allow the respondent to say “yes” or “no” 

For example, “How do you feel about the restructure?”

Ask follow-up questions. 

For example, “What would have been a better way to announce the restructure?”

You should always ensure that the recipient has understood the question. If needed, ask the recipient to play back the question to validate their understanding.

Have a purpose

When you are asking questions of your team, ensure that there is a shared purpose. The team should know the reason for the questions. Is it for you to improve your leadership? Is it to inform team building? Is it to solve a problem? Is it to take advantage of an opportunity?

Without a sense of purpose, the questions are like vapour and have no substance.

You must be intentional and prepared. Make sure your words have a purpose. You and the recipient must know why you are asking. If you don't know why you are asking, you will never get the answer you need.

Ask your question at an appropriate time. If you are having a one-on-one meeting with an employee which is all about their well-being, don’t tag on a question about your performance at the end of the conversation. This meeting was all about your employee and now you have made it all about you.

If you want to ask questions about your performance, find a time, and dedicate it to that conversation. Important questions should never start with “And oh by the way….”

Create a safe environment

You must create an environment in which employees feel safe to give you open and honest answers to your questions without fear of reprimand or reprisal.

This is an environment of psychological safety. As defined by Amy Edmondson, the behavioural scientist who introduced the construct:

“A shared belief held by members of a team that the team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking.”

It is the shared belief that you can speak up without the risk of punishment or humiliation.

If there is fear, then employees will not give you honest answers to your questions which could be extremely dangerous. You will not be informed when a decision is a bad one when a course of direction needs to be changed when there is a problem that needs to be addressed and so on. Silence is deadly. 

In the book, “The Four Stages of Psychological Safety” Timothy R. Clarke describes a model for building psychological safety.

1. Inclusion safety - members feel safe belonging to the team. They are comfortable being present, do not feel excluded, and feel like they are wanted and appreciated.

2. Learner safety - members can learn by asking questions. Team members here may be able to experiment, make (and admit) small mistakes, and ask for help.

3. Contributor safety - members feel safe to contribute their own ideas, without fear of embarrassment or ridicule. This is a more challenging state because volunteering your own ideas can increase the psychosocial vulnerability of team members.

4. Challenger safety - Challenger Safety – members can question others’ (including those in authority) ideas or suggest significant changes to ideas, plans, or ways of working.

Listen

Your employees know when you are not really listening. This just tells them that you are not really interested in what they have to say and then that happens, they will stop sharing.

You must practice active listening. Active listening means being present, really hearing what people are saying, validating your understanding by repeating what was said, encouraging people to share more by asking them questions and encouraging those not participating to speak up and be involved.

Active listening means you avoid distractions, you watch for verbal and physical cues regarding how the other person is feeling. Leaders need to be able to recognise facial expressions.

Remove the blinkers

If you wear bias blinkers, you will be selectively listening. You will only hear what you want to hear. This is called listening bias.

Skillsyouneed.com has a great article on barriers to effective listening.

It describes 6 types of ineffective listening.

1. Evaluative listening – you evaluate what the other person is saying and make judgements about it.

2. Assumptive listening – you make assumptions about the speaker’s meaning or intent – and usually before they have finished speaking

3. Self-protective listening – you are so wrapped up in your own situation and/or emotional response that you have no brain space to hear or concentrate on anything else.

4. Judgemental listening – you only “hear” messages with which you agree.

5. Defensive listening – you take everything that is said as a personal attack.

6. Authoritative listening – you listen solely to advise.

There is a common thread to all these types of ineffective listening and that is your attitude. This is often caused by preconceived ideas or bias. These may be formed by previous experiences.

It is imperative that you recognise these biases and work to remove them. There should be no filters applied to your listening.

Take action

If you don’t act, employees will stop giving you answers. It is like being asked to provide feedback on a product or service and never hearing anything. The chances are you will not provide feedback again.

You must demonstrate that you have taken on board what you have heard and acted accordingly.

When employees see you acting on their feedback, they know that you have listened to and accepted their input. This will encourage them to give more feedback.

Summary

It really is that simple. If you want to know what is going on, ask. Just remove the reasons you fear asking and when you do ask, make sure you get it tight.