In August, I published two newsletters that unpacked some of the content of my latest book, Be REMARKABLE! Learn to Unlearn: The New Leadership Mindset.

Are You Ready to Be REMARKABLE? The Synopsis Part 1

Are You Ready to Be REMARKABLE? The Synopsis Part 2

At the start of the first newsletter, I mentioned the leader’s journey and the process of learning, unlearning, and relearning. Readers have asked for more information about the journey, so here it is. Thanks for asking.

LIMITED OFFER: Order your copy of Be REMARKABLE! Learn to Unlearn: The New Leadership Mindset by February 28, 2025, and enter code UNLEARN at checkout to receive your 15% discount.

The process

American businessman and futurist Alvin Toffler said, “The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.”

He made that prediction in his 1970 book Future Shock, which explores how rapid change can overwhelm people. Future shock refers to people’s physical and psychological distress when they cannot cope with the rapidity of social and technological changes.

The hardest part of the learn, unlearn, relearn process is unlearn. Most people are familiar with learning, but unlearning is often a new concept. It is more than forgetting something you learned some time ago, like how to speak French. It is about making space for new ideas and perspectives. To do that, you must let go of ingrained ways of thinking and operating to make way for relearning.

You must let go of things that may have worked well for you in the past, challenge your long-held assumptions, and be open to changing your mindset. It is about the courage to change and the humility to admit that what you knew yesterday may no longer be relevant. Unlearning is a process of questioning the validity of what you believe in.

In his 2007 book What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful!, Marshall Goldsmith (executive leadership coach) identified twenty-one behaviours you must eliminate to be successful. He argued that while these behaviours may not have stopped you from getting “here” – to your current level of success – they won’t get you “there” – to the heights of success you ultimately aspire to. To be an effective leader, you must eliminate and replace some learning with new learning.

We have witnessed the reluctance of many so-called leaders to unlearn in recent times. The return-to-office mandates are a testament to many wanting to return to how the workplace was pre-March 2020 rather than unlearn and relearn how to effectively lead a distributed and autonomous workforce, which is what employees want.

As Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said, “To attain knowledge, add things every day. To attain wisdom, remove things every day.”

To unlearn, you need to:

1. Recognize and accept that the knowledge that has worked so far is no longer relevant or has limited value. The sooner you recognise this, the sooner you can move in a new direction. Seek feedback on your beliefs, behaviours, and modus operandi to help determine their relevancy.

2. Learn to unlearn and seek the opportunity to relearn. You will replace the knowledge you eliminate with new knowledge. Being open-minded, curious, and intentional helps you unlearn. Focus on the latest knowledge and break your old patterns of thought and behaviour.

3. Remain open to new experiences and knowledge. Do not unlearn and relearn only to close the door again. Continually question and challenge what you know and ensure it is relevant and current. Keep learning to unlearn and relearn. As in step one, keep seeking feedback and adjust as needed.

As Adam Grant (psychologist, professor, and author) said on X, “It takes curiosity to learn. It takes courage to unlearn. Learning requires the humility to admit what you don’t know today. Unlearning requires the integrity to admit that you were wrong yesterday. Learning is how you evolve. Unlearning is how you keep up as the world evolves.”

The journey

You will embark on a journey of learning, unlearning, and relearning. I liken your leadership journey to the hero’s journey.

The hero’s journey is a classic story structure derived from Joseph Campbell’s monomyth from his book The Hero with a Thousand Faces. The hero goes on a quest to achieve a goal and must overcome obstacles and fears before embarking on the return journey home.

There are three stages to the hero’s journey:

· Separation: the hero leaves the familiar world behind

· Initiation: the hero learns to navigate the unfamiliar world

· Return: the hero returns to the familiar world

Many movies follow the hero’s journey, including Star Wars, The Matrix, The Wizard of Oz, The Goonies, and many Disney classics. In each film, the hero leaves the familiar world and enters a new one. They go on an adventure, learn lessons, claim a victory, and return home transformed with their newfound knowledge.

Your journey will not be one in which you join the Rebel Alliance against the Galactic Empire, fight powerful computers, melt the Wicked Witch of the West, or search for a legendary pirate’s long-lost treasure. But I promise you it will be epic. Recognizing the need for change, you will leave your comfort zone, unlearn and relearn, and return with a new leadership mindset.

This is the leader’s journey.

Separation

To embark on the journey, you must not only know you need to change but also recognise the hindrance your current behaviours are to your success, that of your teams, and that of the organisation. You acknowledge that your current learnings no longer serve you and that you must unlearn and relearn.

Many events could lead to this recognition. It could be feedback from colleagues or team members. It could be a light bulb moment – the wake-up call.

Wake-up call

Many events could lead to this recognition. It could be feedback from colleagues or team members. It could be a light bulb moment – the wake-up call. There is the realisation that this is a journey.

Pack

You must pack for your journey intentionally. By that I mean, be prepared. Accept that there will be twists and turns, setbacks and delays, wrong turns, and obstacles to overcome. Be honest with yourself, acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses. Do not start on the journey unless you are genuinely committed to it and prepared to make a concerted effort.

When working to uplift leadership capability, I tell my participants to “Pack a good dose of self-awareness.” They must know and understand the things that make them who they are. Research shows a strong link between self-awareness and high performance in leaders. When you are aware of your strengths and weaknesses, you have the power to build on the strengths and eliminate the weaknesses.

Effort

From the outset, you must genuinely acknowledge the commitment and effort required to change your leadership style. Don’t underestimate it. You will need resilience to keep moving when the going gets tough, and it likely will. There will be doubts, fears, uncertainty, and wavering.

Time

You must be patient and recognise the time it will take to adjust your leadership style. Not managing your expectations can thwart the journey from the outset. I have worked with leaders who look for a shortcut. “Just tell me what to do,” they say. Well, it doesn’t work like that. Take the critical skill of empathy. I can help people develop the capacity and capability to be empathetic through self-awareness, questioning, and listening. But you cannot just do empathy. You must feel empathy. It is about understanding and sharing the feelings of another. It cannot be forced, and it can take time.

Milestones

You must recognise the milestones you achieve on your journey. The end goal can be daunting as it is so far away, so identifying the small achievements provides encouragement and motivation. The milestones could be a small step forward.

Recognising milestones can make a seemingly long and arduous journey feel more manageable.

When I work with leaders on skills such as empowerment, I ask them to identify their milestones before leaving the learning environment to utilise their learning in the workplace. Often, the milestones are forgotten with the enthusiasm to just get on with the journey. It is important to pause and reflect on milestones. When you appreciate the accomplishment of the smaller steps, you are motivated to accomplish the bigger ones. Milestones for empowerment could be the first task delegated and empowerment and autonomy enabled. The second could be a more significant task. The next one could be a group task, and so on.

Initiation

Initiation is making the transition to a new leadership mindset. This is where you cross the point of no return and undergo transformative stages. Here, you must practice everything you learn on your journey to overcome the obstacle that forms the story’s climax.

Map

You must map out your journey. What are the skills you need to develop or improve? What will you need to do that? Where will you do it?

Think about your strengths and where they work well. Do they work well in all situations or just some?

You must map out how you will get feedback on your skills when utilising them in various situations. Make a map of your learning journey to set realistic goals with timeframes and visualise the journey.

Learn

There are many methods and tools for facilitating learning. Your choice will be influenced by the strength you are developing and the most effective way to practice it. These could include formal training or experiential learning, e-learning, coaching, and mentoring.

Reflect

You must regularly reflect on your progress. Celebrate small wins but also celebrate setbacks as learning opportunities. Consider how far you have come and not lose sight of the end game.

Support

Do not do this on your own. You need a support team who will cheer you on, provide encouragement and motivation, and keep you on the hook to achieve your goals. You want honest and open feedback. Your support team can consist of coaches, mentors, and trusted colleagues. Make sure people feel safe to give you feedback and thank them for it. Act on the feedback. If you don’t, people will stop giving it. Remember, feedback is not personal. It is not about you as a person but you as a leader.

Persevere

Resist the urge to return to familiar territory—your comfort zone. Remember that each time you step outside it, your comfort zone gets bigger.

Return

You embark on the return part of the journey after the challenges of a somewhat long and arduous voyage. The learnings are now embedded, and a more empowering leadership style emerges that can be utilised widely. Learning does not end here. You must sustain it.

Sustain

This is where you sustain your learning by doing. It is the persistent, self-initiated pursuit of excellence in leadership. You must keep applying what you have learned in different contexts to retain it long-term. Sustained learning helps you think and behave in new ways. Continue to solicit feedback on your performance and act upon it.

Adapt

When applying what you have learned, you also need to be able to adapt your leadership style. You need to know when to direct and when to provide direction (yes, there is a difference). You will face situations where a more directive leadership style will be called upon. You must make that judgment. The good news is that you now have a portfolio of leadership skills.

Share

Now that you are in the return stage, you can share what you have learned with others. You can use it to develop others.

Prepare

The journey is never over.

The world is changing so fast that in a matter of years, leaders will most likely need different skills and competencies than the ones they are expected to have today. You must start to prepare for that learning journey now. Get ready to unlearn and relearn – and become a REMARKABLE leader.

Close

To embark on this journey, you must have the courage to unlearn, humility to admit what you don't know today, and integrity to admit that you were wrong yesterday.

LIMITED OFFER: Order your copy of Be REMARKABLE! Learn to Unlearn: The New Leadership Mindset by February 28, 2025, and enter code UNLEARN at checkout to receive your 15% discount.