When they go low, you go high

Wise words from former US First Lady Michelle Obama. During Hillary Clinton’s 2016 presidential campaign, she said:

“When someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you don’t stoop to their level. No, our motto is: “When they go low, we go high.”

I was reading Chris Westfall’s thought-provoking article, “ Bullying Is Back: How Hard-Line Leadership is Crushing Morale, “ when those words came to mind.

In his article, Chris highlights that leadership strategies involving coercion and emphasising punishment are on the rise. He writes:

“Workplace bullying involves repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons by one or more perpetrators (in technical terms). Behaviors such as verbal abuse, offensive conduct, and work interference are characteristics of bullying. When leaders adopt a my-way-or-the-highway attitude, dismissing employee concerns and consumer privacy, they tread dangerously close to bullying.”

Chris refers to lessons from our childhood about bullying and their ongoing relevance in the workplace. This prompted me to reflect on how to apply those lessons to' go high when they go low.”

What is it?

While workplace bullying can originate from anyone, anywhere within the organisation, this article examines leaders who engage in bullying.

Leadership bullying often takes one or more of the following forms:

·       Threats

·       Humiliation or intimidation

·       Verbal abuse

·       Blame

·       Constant criticism

·       Implementation of one-way decisions and punitive measures

·       Coercion

·       Micromanagement and excessive monitoring

·       Sabotage – interference which prevents work from getting done

·       Not listening

·       Dismissive and abrasive behaviour

·       Overloading an employee with work or setting unrealistic deadlines

Bullying occurs when one or more of these behaviours happen frequently. The behaviour often becomes increasingly aggressive over time.

Employees who are bullied can feel anxious, stressed, marginalised, depressed, fearful, angry, withdrawn, insecure, self-doubt, and develop physical and mental reactions that can become chronic. Bullying can result in tragic outcomes.

Between 2008 and 2009, 35 employees at France Télécom took their own lives following organised workplace harassment by company executives. (France Télécom became Orange S.A. in 2013).

Chris’s article featured the heading “Bullying as a Strategy?” He posed a question, and unfortunately, my answer is “yes.” Bullying has been, and is currently, used as a strategy.

In the case of France Télécom, the executives needed to cut costs, so they hatched a plan to eliminate about 22,000 workers and conduct an overall restructuring. Jack Kelly summed up the plan in his Forbes article, “French CEO Sent To Prison After His Policies Resulted In The Suicides Of 35 Employees.”

“While corporations based in the U.S. can downsize people in cost-cutting measures, it is not easily accomplished in France. The executives couldn’t simply layoff their employees. Instead, the CEO and top executives hatched a scheme to create an “atmosphere of fear” to make the lives of their workers miserable and intolerable. 

They engaged in a pattern of behavior that caused “severe anxiety” among the staff with the desired goal of having them quit on their own volition. Management pushed people into inappropriate roles, made them move long distances for work and generally tried to make their lives as unpleasant as possible.”

Six years after the conviction of three top Orange S.A. executives, the practice is still ongoing.

While others may disagree, I believe JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon’s message of “Come into the office or find another office" is bullying.

When Amazon CEO Andy Jassy tells employees to come into the office or consider employment elsewhere, I hear a bully.

“If you don’t come into the office for at least 50% of your working hours, your annual bonus will be cut, “ said the CEOs of ANZ, Origin Energy, and Suncorp Group. This statement is a threat and coercion, which constitutes bullying and reflects the same tactic used by Elon Musk when he said, “If you don’t show up, we will assume you have resigned.”

Image created using AI by ChatGPT (OpenAI), April 2025.

This line from Chris’s article inspired me to write this newsletter.

“The lessons from our childhood about bullying remain relevant in the workplace.”

What lessons from childhood can we apply in the workplace? I acknowledge that every situation is different, but there are certainly lessons that remain relevant.

Call the bully out

If you feel safe doing so, directly address the behaviour. While bullying is unacceptable, a leader may respond with anger or frustration due to work pressures. If you can discuss the behaviour professionally, calmly, and rationally while providing solid examples, you can raise awareness about what constitutes unacceptable behaviour.

The bully may seek help to change their behaviour. Other tactics will be needed if they do not change their behaviour. Telling someone else could be your following action.

Stay calm and walk away

Bullies seek a sense of power and thrive on the emotional reactions they provoke. If they discover that they can press your buttons, they will persist. Remain calm and deny them what they crave. Do not react, respond or retaliate. Explore techniques to maintain emotional control, such as deep breathing or visualisation.

Unlike the playground, walking away from a bully in the workplace is not always possible. But if you can avoid the person, do so. Bullies want a reaction. If you walk away or ignore them, you tell them you do not care. When you walk away, walk tall and hold your head up high, sending the message that you are invincible.

Tell someone

Remember, telling someone you are being bullied is not just “telling on someone to get them into trouble.” Bullying in any manner is not acceptable, Period. It is a form of violence and harassment.

Just as we advise children to tell a trusted adult if they are being bullied, you should tell someone. Tell a trusted colleague, family member, or friend. They can listen and be supportive. Tell a trusted leader, manager, or supervisor who can advise you on the action you should take and provide support.

You may wish to lodge an official complaint with People and Culture or whatever body within the organisation is accountable for ensuring a positive work environment and employee wellbeing.

Collect evidence

You should collect and keep evidence of the bullying. Document each incident promptly after it occurs. This can include physical, psychological, verbal, and nonverbal mistreatment. Record the details of the bullying behaviours and their impact on you, including the date, times, location, what was said and/or done, and any witnesses to the incident. Clearly state your desire for action to be taken to stop the bullying.

Evidence can include emails, letters, memos, and messages. If there are witnesses to the bullying, ask them to write down what they saw or heard and whether they are willing to speak on your behalf.

Help others

You could be next if someone is being bullied, so do not ignore it. As the adult who advises the child being bullied, you can help your colleagues. It is also important to note that researchers have found that coworkers of those being bullied also experience negative effects, even when they are not being bullied themselves. This is another good reason not to ignore it.

“This study showed that workplace bullying contributes to the risk of subsequent psychotropic medication among women and men who were victims or observers of bullying at their workplace. Also, earlier exposures to bullying were associated with psychotropic medication over the 5-year follow-up.”

Psychotropic medication includes antidepressants, tranquillisers and sleeping pills.

Look for the signs. The signs of workplace bullying are not far removed from those of schoolyard bullying.

·       Increased absenteeism

·       Changes in mood, behaviour and physical appearance

·       Physical and psychological health problems, including high blood pressure, mood changes, panic attacks, stress, and ulcers.

·       Physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension, and changes in appetite

·       Fatigue due to lack of sleep

·       Tension, stress, depression and anxiety

·       Reduced productivity

·       Low self-esteem

·       Irritability

·       Withdrawal

·       Lack of confidence, security and decision-making at work

Reach out and offer your support. Remind them that they are not alone. Ask how you can help. Listen to them without judgment. Extend them genuine empathy. Suggest places where they could seek help and accompany them if they want you to.

Speak up if you feel safe and inform the bully of their unacceptable behaviour. Help the person being bullied report the incidents and discuss the advice for those being bullied contained in this newsletter.

Get out

It may seem like the last resort, but sadly, it is often the only option. Like a fish rots from the head down, so do organisations when the executives use bullying as a strategy. The executive bully wants subordinates to carry out their orders and enact the strategy. The toxicity spreads throughout the organisation, and those being bullied have nowhere to go but to get out.

If this is your situation, plan to find an alternative workplace. Few people can leave a job and wait until another one comes along. You need a plan and to put it into action as soon as possible.

Conduct research to avoid going from the frying pan into the fire. Investigate potential employers regarding their culture and values, employee engagement, diversity and inclusion, and work/life balance. Utilise employer review sites such as Glassdoor, Indeed, CareerBliss, and Comparably.

Get your resume and LinkedIn profile up to date. If you need help, check out resources such as VisualCV. Explore creating a webpage using platforms such as About.me. Consider making a short video resume relevant to the job you are applying for, highlighting what you can offer the company. Find ways to make yourself stand out from the crowd.

If in doubt about getting out, reflect on the impact that remaining with the organisation will have on your physical and mental health and your relationship with your family and friends. Can you afford not to get out?

In a future newsletter, I am going to explore what can be done to remove bullying from the workplace.